You deserve a big ego and you should fall in love with it and allow it to do its job for you as it was meant to. When we become integrated (whole) each and every part of our Being is accepted fully. Ego is part of who you are and to isolate it like it is a prodigal child only keeps you feeling DIVIDED, SEPARATE, and APART. This separation is what makes you miserable, anxious, confused, fearful, depressed etc.
Let go and allow the ego to do what it was created for and then let God do what He is good at. And together they will work wonders in your life. I know a lot of the teachings tell you that your ego is bad and you should forget about your ego. Well the truth is your ego “appears” to be bad because you have given it way too much work!! It has no idea what it is doing anymore… and so it has become resentful!!
You have given your ego God’s work plus its own work…and you expect it to perform at its best REALLY? How would you feel if you were doing two peoples job every single day? I bet you would be angry, pissed, and mad as hell fussing, complaining and pretty much fed up with the whole situation. So now do you get the picture of what you have been doing to your ego?
You see when you look at one part of yourself as being wrong you de-value yourself, you make yourself be unworthy and this causes disintegration withing you. You have been taught to look at your ego as a bad thing and then you wonder why you do not love yourself, why you are doing the crazy things you do. Your ego is part of you. Integrate it within you and then Allow it to be as big as it wants to be performing the job it was intended for.You are the master and so you can direct it to do what it was created for. Become friends with each part of you. Develop a relationship with every aspect of yourself. And those aspects will work wonders for you. Love your ego it is part of you <3